A Mother's Intuition
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|Posted on February 22, 2017 at 11:21 AM||comments (7)|
Hey friends. I find it much easier to post when things are going so well. Another when your heart hurts as a parent because of tough love. My son AJ kicked a hole in the wall because of batteries for his xbox on Saturday morning. I'm sure it was his impulsivity. My husband headed out to buy them only to return to the damage. We were in the process of a solution but apparently it wasn't face enough.(My son Michael ordered a wire adapter from Amazon. No more batteries.) My husband took him downstairs and showed him how to repair it. I asked my son what happens when you are working in the real world and don't get your way? Do you physically damage property, curse and lash out? He put his head down and said no Mom. Unfortunately I had plans to spend quality time but I had to bring him back to his residence. There he broke two staff phones and a window. Destruction of property in my home is a deal breaker. Parents of special needs children know all too well. He's 18yo I expect so much more from him and I know he's capable of it. This autism life is exhausting. The highs and lows of emotions are surmountable at times. He's come very far and yes things could be worse but I'm tired and little heartbroken. I'm a strong person but just want to hide from it all. So enjoy your children this week and keep in mind everyone has a struggle you don't know about. Be patient, loving, care for one another and try not to judge.
|Posted on February 15, 2017 at 10:54 AM||comments (11)|
My husband came home with a huge smile on his face. Why? Our eldest son AJ remembered his birthday, his cell phone number and called him on his phone. I know exactly how he felt because he dialed me at home to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day and told me he loved me. These are the little things that are taken for granted. To us, as special needs parents, it is HUGE. I had a neurologist once tell me not to set the bar so high that he would not amount to much. Imagine? Appreciate the little things because for some us it is just the hope for our children to accomplish those little things.#autismsuccess #HOPE #FAITH
|Posted on December 20, 2016 at 9:48 AM||comments (12)|
Something to lift the spirit for the holidays.
Picked up AJ from his Woodbury residence. I ask him how his week was. He said he worked at the nursing home for a day. He set the table for their holiday party, made goodie bags, assisted in the kitchen and helped where ever needed. He looked at me and said, "Mom I loved it! I really enjoyed helping people!" "That is what I want to do for a living!" Best Christmas gift ever! How much I love that young man! So proud! This is the young man who couldn't speak, behaviorial issues, processing delay and was emotionally disruptive. My advice to family and friends of special needs children, don't ever underestimate what they are able to accomplish. Faith, hope and prayers are a very big part of my daily life. The mindset is a very strong tool so use it wisely and keep focused on your goals whether it is for you or someone you love.
Have a wonderful holiday. My best to all of you.
|Posted on October 17, 2016 at 7:43 PM||comments (6)|
My son AJ has not lived with us since he was 7 1/2 years old. Not an easy decision to make but one that we have NO regrets making to give him the best future possible. I'm a parent advocate and very involved in festivities for his school which is funded by our Parents Association. As a special needs parent, I feel very blessed to be surrounded by other parents that understand my situation. I enjoy working with these children and having them experience the same things that neuro-typical children experience on a daily basis. We organized a Fall Festival. The children picked pumpkins and decorated them with stickers. We had bushels of apples and the children got to pick one for themselves. We had delicious snacks and tattoos. What was enjoyed most by all was the petting zoo. These animals had such a calming affect on these children. To watch the children's faces as the spent time in the presence of these animals was such a great experience.
My European parents didn't approve of my son living outside of our home. They didn't understand the depth of his disabilities and the sacrifices we made to give him what he needed to be successful in this world. I know they were coming only from a place of love but it hurt me and my husband to the core. The day of the Fall Festival my parents came and shared in the day with myself, their grandson and the children. All things are possible. Don't ever give up faith and hope. You need to do what works for you and not care what others think. It is very difficult to do but in the end you will see for yourself your intuition is a gift and it should be followed always.
These animals were all rescued and now cared for with love.
Love & Light, Cathy
|Posted on October 16, 2016 at 6:33 PM||comments (4)|
|Posted on September 16, 2016 at 8:11 AM||comments (6)|
So this happened. Attended back to school night at The Center for Developmental Disabilities in Woodbury for my son AJ where he lives and schools. The gym teacher approached my and said, "You should be very proud of your son". I asked, "why?" Your son is co-teaching, and teaching adaptive gym techniques to the younger children. I watch him from the back of the gymnasium and he took over immediately and needed no direction. All things are possible. Please don't give up hope or faith. He is going to be 18 yo next month. He is seizure free, verbal, athletic, non-behavioral and a typical teenager who wants to give service to younger children with special needs. I am so proud of my son! HUGE HUGE HUGE
|Posted on September 3, 2016 at 10:47 AM||comments (12)|
|Posted on April 19, 2016 at 7:24 PM||comments (3)|
For all that don't know my son AJ does not live with me because of his disabilities. Friday we were on Merrick Road and passed the high school. (The kids were going to prom.) My son looked at me and said "Mom they look so nice and they are graduating"..The girls look so pretty, I was crushed inside for him. This time of year is very difficult for me as a parent. (milestones) On another note, I received a phone call from where he lives that he wanted to talk to me. He asked me to go see "The Jungle Book" with him tomorrow. The supervisor there informed me he dialed the number by himself. Please don't take the little things for granted. Sometimes the little things are the BIG THINGS.
|Posted on February 9, 2016 at 9:31 AM||comments (8)|
I have been asked for updates and more posts which I think is great! So Thank you!
This past summer my family and I traveled to Antigua. A trip that was given to us for my volunteer work with disabled children and for my book.
My son AJ who has not lived with us since he is 71/2 years old is now 17 and very independent. My husband and I wanted to stay at the resort while my son AJ wanted to experience the entire island. My son was introduced to the activities director which had his own disabilitiy. I explained to my husband we needed to let him go and be that independent young man we are raising him to become. My husband and 14yo son had issues with my decision.
Every morning AJ would meet the acitivities director after breakfast and follow the activities agenda with all the guests. Volley ball, hiking, touring, tennis, water sports, etc. He would meet us back at the cottage at 6:30pm in time for dinner. I showed him the available of the phones at every section of the resort and how to use it to call a cart for transportation. For him not to panic if he had become lost because all of the units looked a like. He had his name and cottage around his neck.
I told my husband to let him experience the island through his own eyes. If we hold him back the trip will not be the same for him. One morning he awoke took his meds and went for a walk. He followed a man cutting down fruits from the island. Two hours later he knocked on the door with a cut open coconut. With excitement in his voice, "Mom I wanted you to taste a real fresh coconut cut off of the tree!"
My husband said that there was something wrong with me to let him go like that. I knew it was time and that he was ready. I told my husband to hang out at the pool, enjoy some drinks, let go and let GOD take over.
All in all, it was an awsome trip! By the end of it all of the tourists and island natives knew who he was and greeted him with a smile and a hello! The young man who could not speak and struggled with so many disabilities.
All things are possible! Hold on to your hope and keep your faith!
|Posted on November 12, 2015 at 5:26 PM||comments (3)|